Let’s say – hypothetically – that this morning you put the coffee cup in the toaster oven and the bread for toast in the sink.
Yes. It’s kind of been one of those days.
Who am I kidding? It’s been one of those weeks!
The little one hasn’t been sleeping well, which means I am not sleeping well. She is still stalking into our room at all hours of the night and waking me up with the quickly whispered, repeater-style chant, “mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy…”
The kid is adorable during the waking hours, but can be downright terrifying when she’s mere centimeters from your face at 3 am.
So what’s a gal to do? Head to Twitter! My morning frown can be turned upside down in no time by some fun in timeline form (with the help of at least one cup of coffee). Click on “Read More” to see what hilarity the tweeps are typing up this week.
When I say that we are sleep deprived ’round these parts, I’m not exaggerating. I’m going on two weeks of not getting even 3 uninterrupted hours of sleep at a time. To try and offset the lack of sleep, there have been nights I’ve been in bed at 9 pm!
For those of you who know me in real life – RIGHT? When has that ever happened?! I could have the flu or be bleeding from the ears and I’ll not crawl into bed earlier than midnight.
I believe the little one is as delirious as I am, because the games she’s started to come up with are a bit… More creative than usual? Here she is, after having absconded with a couple of tassels from a project I’m working on. When I found her with them, she said, “These are for the ends of my hands that need them to fly to the bookshelf in the corner for 3 minutes.”
Is she sleep deprived or just 2.5 years old? I’m not sure.
I am not sure how I feel about this yet, but in a desperate move, I purchased some doorknob covers that are supposed to keep little ones out of dangerous areas. Our bedroom at 3 am is now classified as a “dangerous area,” because if we keep this up, I’m liable to go nuclear.
Before nap today, I put the Munchkin 2 Count Door Knob Cover on and told her that this was going to stay on the inside of her door to keep her from leaving her room (partner link). How did she react? She was nonplussed…
And she actually napped today for 40 peaceful minutes.
Now, I’m not sure if it was from sheer exhaustion or if she attempted to break out and found it futile, but I’m going to run this experiment for a few days and hope for the same daytime results. At night, if she cries out for me, I’ll probably wait a few minutes to see if she puts herself back to sleep like she had been doing before she figured out that stupid doorknob.
Onto the tweets!
Titanic (1997) A woman cheats on her rich fiancé with a homeless guy & then throws a giant diamond into the ocean like a big stupid dummy.
— david nuzzy nussbaum (@theNuzzy) June 10, 2014
I’m not real good at talking my way out of trouble, since it’s the talking that got me in to trouble in the first place.
— Freudian Slip (@NJFreudian) June 8, 2014
I can’t tell you how many relationships I’ve ruined by asking the ‘if we had the chance, would you help me steal a panda’ question too soon.
— B B (@MomoVonTrite) April 11, 2014
I just “liked” every depressing Facebook update I could find.
— KungFuChop (@SkullfuckT) July 4, 2012
Women’s Magazines: Pg 1. You’re beautiful and perfect just the way you are Pg 2. How to lose 20lbs in 10 days
— L O R I (@LoriGallucci) March 8, 2014
Some people can make the worst idea sound perfect. I’m one of those people.
— Ink (@Duke1173) June 19, 2014
If relationships were easy, everyone would be in one and Twitter wouldn’t exist
— Rizz (@InnocentMarina6) June 19, 2014
Its so cute how all 20 yr olds think they’re special for being hot. Sweetie your 20. You’re supposed to be hot. Call me when you’re 40 & hot
— L O R I (@LoriGallucci) May 4, 2014
Do you know how fast you were going sir? “15,000mph?” Wha? No,like 65? “Seems pretty slow wouldn’t you say?” I guess so. “Ok bye” bye?
— GoaT FacE ThrillA (@EndhooS) June 6, 2014
I’ve decided not to get married until somebody asks
— Ella Fraser (@ella__fraser) September 25, 2012