They’ve done it, yet again.
Who?
The people.
What people?
The people that live in my Twitter timeline.
Yay!
Where do people come up with this stuff?
I have a favorite in this one… Can you guess what it is?
Click on “Read More” to get your smiles in gear.
We have been super busy around these parts. Busy and sleepy.
Our kiddo is going through her “I am not going to sleep more than 2 hours at a time and when I wake up, I am going to open the door and creep into your room and stare at you until you wake up frightened” phase.
It. Is. Precious.
You would think that with less sleep she would be napping.
Aaaaaaaaaand you would be wrong.
Precious.
She is tired most of the day right now, which is evident by the epic fall that busted her front lip open. Wait, you say… Another one? Yes, another one!
Here she is, about 10 minutes after busting it, asking me to take a picture of it because she wanted to show Daddy. It swelled up quite a bit more and then turned a very angry red for a day or so. It’s a deep purple now and oh-so-attractive as she fiddles with it.
Parenting is kind of disgusting.
And onto my favorite tweet of the week…
One of the greatest gifts my kids have given me is my high tolerance for alcohol.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) March 19, 2014
It’s like these people arguing over whether big foot is real on this History Channel special have never seen Harry And The Hendersons.
— Wine-O-Mite (@Jen_Up_) June 13, 2014
I made it all the way to work listening to Kidz Bop radio without even realizing it in case you’re wondering how dead I am inside.
— Super Dad (@superdadatron) June 5, 2014
Ask your wife if having an opinion is right for you.
— Steve Suckington (@SteveSuckington) June 6, 2014
Got an ego? Dance in front of a teenager. They’ll clear that shit right up for you.
— No Duffers (@noduffers) June 4, 2014
My trust issues stem back to the slinky that irreversibly tangled itself after one trip down the stairs.
— Maggie Knows Best (@BlackCatBettie) June 6, 2014
I know you’re the instructor but I’ve seen Ghost 47 times so I know for a fact this IS how pottery is made!
— Sasshole (@RidiculousSheri) February 26, 2014
WELL WELL WELL, if it isn’t the kid who says I’m his father.
— Loco Eric (@ericsshadow) June 6, 2014
She said I wasn’t a high roller, well we’ll see how she feels when I show her how many Denny’s coupons I have in my pocket.
— Will (@FunkyFresh_79) June 6, 2014
And on the 8th day, god created exaggerating and OMG IT WAS SERIOUSLY EPIC. THE BEST THING EVER. I CANT BELIEVE YOU MISSED IT.
— Steve Suckington (@SteveSuckington) June 6, 2014
If you’re wandering aimlessly in life and would like to do something that won’t change that at all, Twitter may be right for you!
— Jaxon/Jaxoff (@fillthevacuum) May 28, 2014
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