Although many of you get a chuckle out of the Twitter Tuesdays, I think I’ve highlighted one of my favorite platforms enough and have decided that this will be the last one…
Okay, so that’s not true. I should type, “this might be the last one…” Click on ‘Read More’ to start laughing.
I love doing these but am trying to balance all of my commitments and have decided to let some things go. If you ever need a chuckle, get on Twitter, ya’ll.
I don’t normally add commentary to the tweets because I feel they stand quite solidly on their own, but my absolute favorite is the first one. I spat my coffee out when I read this and I am secretly wishing I can slip it into normal conversation one day.
Being wrong is my favorite mythical thing.
— ShotofCherye (@CheryeDavis) July 15, 2014
Either my cat is speaking English or that was not a vitamin I took….
— PetiteRainCity (@PetiteRainCity) January 20, 2014
Therapist? I don’t need a therapist, I KNOW what’s wrong with me.
— Gran Master E (@E_lok44) March 24, 2014
No, I’m not fluent in sarcasm, I only took it for a couple of years in high school and all I really remember is this sentence.
— (maura) (@behindyourback) June 3, 2014
*T-Rex stubs his toe* OUCH I’M SO MAD. JUST… MAD. I’M… “Angry? Agitated? Irritated? Anno-” SHUT UP THESAURUS NO ONE ASKED YOU.
— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) July 28, 2014
It’s over 100°, and I just saw a bird run up the neighbors roof. Run, not fly, up a hot ass roof. Guys, I think I’ve found our mascot.
— TealBlueJay (@tealbluejay) July 27, 2014
I like to tease my husband by asking him, “do you notice anything new about me?” And watch him panic
— Miniwheats (@Miniwheats2012) March 12, 2014
Its like people that try to please everyone don’t realize I’d be much happier if they just focused all there efforts on pleasing me.
— Joel Danger (@joeldanger) July 28, 2014
Thanks, LinkedIn, but I think my recommendation would more likely get someone fired.
— Sweet n Laff (@LisaMcAlister1) July 28, 2014
I think people who use “go fly a kite” as an insult don’t really understand kites or insults.
— moody monday (@mdob11) April 17, 2013
I play this fun game where I make a list of things to do, then remember I have kids, and throw it directly in the trash.
— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) July 28, 2014